Born to be free – why we decided for homebirth

little-wonder

When Zoé got to known that she was pregnant, from beginning on she wanted to give birth at home. She imagined it beautiful to be on a place where she feels comfortable, in harmony and can trust the people around her. Another idea she liked very much was to give birth in water. We started to inform ourselves how Zoé’s dream could become possible and in which way.

We have been talking with plenty of experts, reading a lot of articles, had fights with the family and were confronted with contradictionary oppinions. Actually we found out that homebirth might be one of the topics that is the most emotional discussed. Although it seems to be for many people so important, most of them are in a shocking way misinformed.

Back in Hungary we were confronted with a difficult situation. From law it is allowed to give homebirth, but only under certain conditions:
You have to have the help of two professional midwifes.
You have to be over 18 and under 40 years old.
You have to have a low risk pregnancy and a predicted uncomplicated birth.
Your place has to be close enough to a hospital, that in an emergency situation the mother and the baby can be brought to hospital within 20 minutes.

In our case the problem was, that our new home is too far away from the next hospital. In an emergency case it would be impossible, that an ambulance car could come and bring Zoé to the hospital within 20 minutes.

That means homebirth was not possible. Facing this reality, we started to inform ourselves more about hospital birth. Even though the leading gynecologist and obstetrician in the local hospital was very supporting, super nice and tried to inform and help us in the best way, very fast we realized that hospital would be not an option for Zoé.

First of all, waterbirth is only in some hospitals possible, but if you are unlucky and the birthpool is occupied when your baby is coming, you have to give birth in a classical surgery room.
In other hospitals only the labour is possible in water, but the actual birth you have to give on a bed.
And in most of the hospitals it is only possible to give birth in lying position, because they do not have the equipment to support the baby in other positions.

Zoé likes the idea of waterbirth very much for many reasons. For the natural relaxing effect you have much less pain during the labour and the birth. In water it is much more easy to change positions and there is much less load on the joints and muscles, because you are more light. Also it is a more soft transition for the baby to arrive in water.
Beside the waterbirth, the possibility to change positions and move freely during the labour is very important for Zoé, because first of all she does not like to be forced to stay on a bed. Changing positions during the birth is helping the baby to come by it’s own rythm, helps to find a way that is most comfortable and less painful for the mother and makes it possible to use the help of gravitation.

Another reason against hospital is, that in very less hospital you can find alternative birthrooms and for that normally you have to give birth in a surgery room. Well, surgery rooms are very practible for surgeries, but for seeing this beautiful world the first time they might not give the best impression. You have very bright light, are surrounded by people in uniforms wearing masks and all around you it smells like fertilizers.

Beside all of these, in most of the hospitals they do rutine medical interventions. It starts with injecting oxytocin hormon in the mother to fasten the process of birth. This is the first step on a long way down. It results in that the mother and the baby have much more pain. For that they need a lot of pain killer. That can lead to the point that the mother cannot control anymore the pushing movements or the baby’s heart rate is falling. And like this many times it comes to a C-section.
Next to it in many hospitals episiotomy, the cut of the perineum, is a standard procedure to prevent the rupture of it. Although in most of the cases it is unnecessary and even leads to longer recovery time and further complications.

With this we come to another argument against hospital. The stay in the hospital. Already by the labour and normally at least 3 days after the birth, the mother and the baby have to stay in hospital. In this time you have to deal with the issue of the hospital food, sick people and a lot of stress around you and more medical examinations.

Apart from this in hospital you are in the hands of the doctors and many decisions are made without your consent, like washing the baby, giving antibiotic eyedrops and whatever they might find out.
We have to say that in our life and specially in this research we encountered some nice but also many doctors, that were on a horrible consciousness level. They were specifistic, narcistic, misinformed, narrow minded and by themselves absolutly unhealthy. To be in the hands of these people seemed for us not a good idea.
Another point is that in Hungary the majority of obstetricians are male and for that have no own experience about birth.

For that we started to look for other options. We already considered to move to another place more close to a hospital to fullfil the conditions for homebirth, when the story made an unexpected turn. Zoé was calling a midwife to inform herself more and she was recommending the birth home of one of her collegues.
What is a birth home? A birth home is a place of a professional midwife, where you have the possibility to give birth outside of the hospital in a safe surrounding. Without hesitating Zoé was calling this midwife. Already on the phone she liked her, and we decided to visit her birth home to have a look. A few days later we drove 120 kms to the south of Hungary.
Even though the place was not exactly how we imagined, the midwife convinced us with her character, with her knowledge and competence and with the possibilities that her birth home gives.
You can give birth in any position, even in water.
The birth is happening in its natural course without fastening it or any other unnecessary interventions.
The midwife is supporting and helping the mother, but not leading the birth. Our midwife has seven children by herself and with this a lot first hand experience about birth.
All together the impact on the mother seems much more little and normally you can go home 3 hours after the birth.

For us it was always important that by birth the mother feels good and it is the best for the baby. We think it is a wonderful happening and there is no need of unnecessary medicalization of it. Many arguments that we heard against homebirth were based on fear, but we think you always should decide with love.

We wish you a beautiful day,
Love and kisses
Zoé and Joshua

7 Comments

  1. Linda Farrel

    Hello, my name is Linda. I only have one kid and I gave birth in hospital. It was a very bad experience, and I would never do it again. They were holding my baby like a chicken, were very unfriendly to me and after one day I left the hospital on own will. Dont get me wrong, I think birth is a wonderful thing and congratulations for your decision for the birthhome. I wish all the best for you and Hugo!

    • Zoé and Joshua

      Hey Linda, we are very happy to see you on Blueberry Beach. Sorry to hear your experience. By our research for this article, we heard from a lot of women that they made bad experience in hospital. Thank you for sharing!
      Hugs,
      Zoé and Joshua

    • Zoé and Joshua

      Hey Tom,
      We are happy that you like it. We think it is an important topic. Specially that many people seem to be very misinformed.
      Have a beautiful day,
      Zoé and Joshua

    • Zoé and Joshua

      Hey Clara, we are happy for your sister. In the research for this article we also talked to doctors who are really nice, so we can imagine that birth in hospital can be a good experience. We think everybody should decide by themselves what is the best for them.
      Have a beautiful day,
      Zoé and Joshua

  2. Ela

    Hello,

    ihr Lieben, herzlichen Glückwunsch zu eurem kleinen Wunder ! Die Geburt eines Kindes verändert alles für immer…es ist ein magischer Augenblick den man nie vergisst 🙂

    Lieber kleiner Bruder, lange haben wir überlegt deine Nichten in unserem Haus zur Welt zu bringen oder in einem Geburtshaus. Vieles spricht dafür, aber ( in manchen Fällen) auch einiges dagegen…am Ende war ich froh das wir uns für eine Geburt im KH entschieden haben.
    Beide Mädchen habe ich ganz natürlich und ohne Betäubungen oder Schmerzmittel entbunden. Auch bin ich nach der Geburt nicht dort geblieben sondern nach Hause gegangen ( Mutter und Kind bekommen ein Check up, ist alles okay kannst du sofort nach 3 Stunden die Klinik verlassen ). Aber hätte ich oder eines unserer Babys während der Geburt oder danach Hilfe gebraucht, hätten wir versorgt werden können…das war ein wichtiger Aspekt für uns.

    Am Ende wird jeder für sich und sein Kind den besten Weg finden. Eigentlich ist es egal wo man sein Baby bekommt…wichtig ist nur das Mama und Papa da sind 🙂

    Kind Regards and many kisses,
    Deine grosse Schwester !

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.